The Big E Incident
by Doctor Pharma
Summary: Just a simple day at the Big E right? Not when it involves Alfred and one of his 50 children. Hmmmm...I wonder what's going to happen? Human names used. Oc Massachusetts.


So...yeah...I know I'm supposed to be working on my KH story but this just came to me and I had to write it and don't kill me!

*Cowers behind Ivan, then realizes that is a VERY bad idea and instead cowers behind Kiku.*

I tried to get Alfred's character right, sorry if I screwed him up. I own nothing but Massachusetts/Lauren and this plot. I hope you enjoy. ^.^'

* * *

A cool wind blew through the changing leaves of the trees and sending many to scatter across the ground. A young girl who seemed to be no more than seventeen shivered and pulled her warm jacket closer to her as she stood near the entrance grounds of the Big E.

The girl wasn't amazingly beautiful or anything. She had straight brown hair that reached a little bit past her shoulders and was tied into loose pigtails. Her eyes were green and hidden behind a pair of red-rimmed oval shaped glasses and she had pale skin. The girl wore a pair of jeans ripped at the knees and a green tee-shirt under her fur-lined jean jacket. The only accessories on her were her Rhodonite pendant on a Babingtonite chain and some big headphones that hung around her neck.

Yes, she didn't look very special but in fact this girl was the human personification of Massachusetts, but she also went by the name Lauren T. Jones.

"Where is he? He's late..."

The brunette sighed as she tugged on one of her pigtails. Only seconds later she yelped as she was drawn into a crushing hug.

"LAUREN! How are you? You haven't been waiting long, have you? Of course you haven't! 'Cause the hero is NEVER late!"

Lauren rolled her eyes and turned around in the hug to face the owner of the loud obnoxious voice.

"Hello Da. I'm doin' pretty good and I haven't been waitin' long."

Her father, known as the United States of America or Alfred F. Jones grinned widely and released his daughter from his death grip and ruffled her hair.

"Alright! So, let's get this show on the road!"

Grabbing her wrist, Alfred dragged her to the entrance of the fair grounds to pay for their tickets. A faint blush came across her cheek bones and the bridge of her nose as they passed a group of teenagers that giggled and pointed at the odd pair.

"So...I'm surprised that you actually came Da. I thought you would be too busy with everythin'..."

_**'Not to mention the fact that mah state is one of the most borin' in the country...nothin' like Candy or Ray.'**_

The brunette girl thought to herself.

Paying for their tickets, the blonde continued to pull Lauren along by her wrist as they entered the fair grounds.

"I'm never to busy to not visit one of my kids! After all, a hero always makes time for those in need!"

Rolling her eyes at her fathers seemingly boundless enthusiasm Lauren sighed.

"Yes Da. You're definitely mah hero."

The sarcasm went right over Alfred's head.

"Of course I am! Now hurry up slow poke! I see a burger stand!"

* * *

Lauren thought she was going to DIE! Her father was SO embarrassing!

First, at the burger stand, Alfred had bought five hamburgers which gained odd looks not only from the vendor, but also from everyone else nearby. Then he ate them all at once getting even MORE odd looks while Lauren just stood there hoping a rouge Madi Gras Parade float would run her over.

After that, he had dragged her over to a haunted house ride, completely ignoring Lauren's reminders that he was afraid of ghosts and monsters. Despite the claims that he could handle it, the green eyed girl ended up spending a good twenty minutes afterwards trying to pry the hysterical blonde man off of her, while trying to comfort him at the same time.

Then came what was sure to be known as 'The Deep-Fried Pickle Incident'. Excited to try the new food, Alfred had ignored the blatantly obvious fact that a freshly made deep-fried pickle was indeed, as hot as Hell. Lauren then spent the next fifteen minutes soothing her whining father who had curled up into a ball in the middle of the street.

At one of the games booth Lauren had slipped away with a half-assed excuse that she was going to check something out after her father got into an argument with the vendor, which brings us to the next incident.

Lauren was walking past a group of teenagers when she heard something that made her stop in her tracks.

"Oh my God! Can you BELIEVE that guy? He's so stupid!"

"Pffft. You got THAT right! He acts like a brat."

"Ha! I bet the dude is like, retarded or something."

Lauren curled her hands into fists and ground her teeth.

**_'How...how DARE they...'_**

Lauren knew that her father could be immature, childish, and totally embarrassing, but, he was still her father...her hero.

_Flash back_

_A young Massachusetts was sitting near a puddle of mud and crying her eyes out. Her skirt had been torn in several different places, her cap had been trampled into the ground which showed that her brown hair had become tangled and tied into knots. Her glasses lay next to her; bent and broken beyond repair, she was splattered in mud, and her shoes were gone._

_As she continued to cry she felt someone pick her up and speak to her, using her nickname._

_"Hey there Setty, why are you crying? What happened?"_

_Recognizing the voice, Massachusetts wailed and wrapped her arms around the persons neck._

_"F...fature! N-new Rork...I...I...I w-was ru-runin' after a butterfry...an...and I bumped into 'im! And h-he pushed me, and kn-knotted ma h-hair and tore ma sk-skirt...He br-broke ma grasses...and he...he took ma shoes!"_

_The young girl burst into fresh tears as a younger looking America took a few moments to translate the hysterical tear-jumbled words. As America soothed his young daughter he wondered, for the hundredth time, why New York seemed to enjoy bullying his older, but smaller, sister._

_"It is alright Setty. I will get your shoes back from New York, and give him a stern talking to."_

_Setty sniffled and wiped her face on her fathers jacket before looking up at him._

_"R-really?"_

_America grinned and hugged her close._

_"Of course! I am the hero after all!"_

_End Flash back_

Lauren stomped over to the group of teenagers and glared at them.

"Hey you! Where the bleedin' Hell do you get off callin' mah Da those names?"

The leader of the group, a large bulky male, laughed in her face.

"So YOU'RE the freaks kid? I bet you're just as freaky as your Dad!"

The male reached an arm out and pushed Lauren, making her stumble back a few steps, much to the amusement of his friends.

"Shut up you ASSHOLE!"

Moving forward she used both of her arms to push the boy back, considering the fact that she wasn't human and therefor, was stronger she was able to push him into one of his friends. As soon as he recovered from the shove he snarled at the state.

"You bitch! You must be retarded like your Dad to pick a fight with us!"

Before she was able to reply, Lauren was slugged in the face and landed on the ground as the group descended upon her.

* * *

With a triumphant grin, Alfred walked away from the game booth with a Right Whale stuffed animal. Yeah, he had to argue the booth vendor for it, but come on! The game was TOTALLY rigged! Besides, he REALLY wanted to get something nice for Lauren.

"Hmmmm...now where did she go?"

The blonde looked around for his daughter when he heard a scream. Oh dear God...her recognized that scream!

"LAUREN!"

Alfred took off down the street in the direction he heard his daughters cry.

* * *

Reaching the area he heard the scream, Alfred dropped the stuffed animal in his arms and raced forward to pull two teenagers off the fallen form of his daughter. He then pulled up the last teenager off of her and actually **threw** him into his friends.

"What the **HELL** do you think you're doing? How **DARE** you little **punks** hit my daughter! Get out of here before I decide to smash your stupid faces in the **GROUND**!"

The teenagers, scared by the sudden mood swing from the blonde scrambled to their feet and raced off. Alfred turned around and knelt next to Lauren to see how badly she was hurt.

It wasn't too bad thankfully. She had some scratches and bruises on her arms, a bloody nose, and her glasses had been smashed.

"Hey Setty, you okay?"

Lauren smiled at the old nickname and picked up her glasses.

"I'm okay Da. Just a little roughed up."

Alfred sighed and ruffled her hair.

"Why did those punks attack you?"

Lauren frowned as a blush came across her face.

"They...they...they were makin' fun of you Da! Callin' ya names and shit. I couldn't just let them get away with that! So...I confronted them, he pushed me, I pushed him back, and they jumped me."

Alfred shook his head and helped his daughter to her feet.

"Hey now, I don't want you getting into fights over me. I can take care of myself, I am the hero after all!"

Lauren giggled and hugged the stuffed Right Whale close after her father gave it to her.

"I know Da...You're definitely a hero."

Alfred grinned and dragged his Lauren in a random direction.

"Come on! Let's go get some cranberries! I know how much you love them!"

**_'A goofy hero...but still a hero.' _**

* * *

So...yeah. I imagine Massachusetts having a _slight_ Irish accent due to the fact that many Irish people migrated to Boston during the Great Potato Famine. If anyone could show me how to write someone speaking with an Irish accent, I would be most grateful, 'cause I just kind of guessed around. New York aka Ray is the bad guy in the flashback. I couldn't resist, considering the fact that the Red Sox (My team, yep, I'm from Massachusetts.) and the Yankies have such a bitter rivalry. Candy=California. xD

Rhodonite is Massachusetts' state gem, Babingtonite is the state mineral, the Right Whale is the state mammal, and the Cranberry is the state berry.

I know Alfred is always happy-go-lucky and stuff, but if one of his kids were being threatened I think he would go into 'Papa-bear' mode.

Oh yeah! The thing with the Deep-Fried Pickle actually happened to one of my teachers, except she didn't whine like a baby. . She did burn her mouth very badly, and her esophagus, and had indigestion for a few days...

So...yeah...

Flames will be doused by my water powers, persistent flamers will be pelted by hail.


End file.
